SERMON TITLE: How Not to Disagree
TEXT: Acts 15:36-41 (ESV)
SPEAKER: Josh Hanson
DATE: 11/14-15/20
You can watch the sermon here.
You can find the sermon notes here.
As always it’s a joy to be with all of you this weekend at Gateway Church. And the one thing I always want you to know — and this is true if you’re worshipping with us in person at our North Main or Bowling Green campuses — or are worshipping with us online — the one thing I want you to know is that God loves you and that I love you too.
And we’re finishing up our time in the book of Acts for this year. And what we’ve been seeing is how the early Christians overcame a variety of barriers that could’ve kept them from accomplishing the mission Jesus had given them. Their mission being to take the gospel — the news of what Jesus accomplished in his life, death, and resurrection to the whole world.
We’ve seen them overcome some potential barriers to their joy. We’ve seen them overcome the barrier of being fearful of persecution. We’ve seen Barnabas and Paul submit themselves to a local church as they were called and sent out by the Spirit of God.
We’ve seen the importance of knowing our biblical history — the stories of God’s faithfulness to his people as we find throughout the Bible. We’ve seen that we’re in a war of words and how we — God’s people — have a word to share — the word of grace. And we’ve seen the importance of humility — as pride is a barrier God’s people must overcome in order to accomplish the mission we’ve been given.
And — last week — we began a short mini-series. Where we’re seeing how the early Christians were successful — and not so successful — in overcoming the barrier of disagreement. We’re seeing how we should respond to each other when we disagree — so that — we still accomplish our mission. Last week we saw how to disagree and — today — well today we’re going to see an example of how not to disagree and — unfortunately — not disagreeing is an all too relevant topic for those of us living in the U.S.
So if you have your Bible, please turn with me to Acts chapter 15. We’ll be looking at verses 36-41 together today. We’re in Acts chapter 15. Beginning in verse 36.
And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” 37 Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. 38 But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. 39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. (Acts 15:36-41 ESV)
“And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other.” If only these words recorded a specific moment in history between Paul and Barnabas. But — instead — these are words that can be used over and over again throughout the history of God’s people — including the last 8 months or so. Words that are accurate even for us — Gateway Church. A sharp disagreement causing a separation — a division — a parting of ways. Instead of there being unity — disunity raises its ugly head.
So — unlike last week — when we learned how to disagree — this week — we learn how not to disagree. And — my prayer — is that we would all have ears to hear because if Paul and Barnabas could go their separate ways because of a sharp disagreement that had nothing to do with the gospel — if these two men are our example of how not to do something — then let’s not fools ourselves into thinking that we’re beyond making this same mistake.
Now — some — in hearing me say this — may wonder, “But aren’t there times when we should separate ourselves from someone — or a group — or even a church — because of a disagreement?” Of course. Heretical teaching. Abuse of authority — to name a few. But that’s not what’s happening here in Acts and these are not the kinds of things that God’s people usually separate over. Our disagreements are usually petty, about non-essential things — rarely about the gospel. And this is the warning for us — will we show the world that Christ and his gospel unite us together — in spite of us having differences — or will we be no better than the world — being at best poor witnesses for Christ as we allow our disagreements to cause us to go our separate ways?
And that — separating due to disagreements — is exactly what we see going on in our country. You see, we live in a culture that is determined to ruin people with whom we disagree. We live in a “you’re either right — because you agree with me — or — it’s not just that you’re wrong — but you don’t even deserve to have your voice heard.” This is most clear when we look at politics, but this hasn’t always been the case in our country. For example, two of our late Supreme Court justices — Ruth Ginsburg and Antonin Scalia — had about as different of judicial philosophies and interpretations of the US Constitution as you can have — and yet — they were close friends. Their friendship lasted for decades. They went to the opera together. They spent time with each other’s families during the holidays. Listen to what Scalia said about their friendship. He said, “If you can’t disagree ardently with your colleagues about some issues of law and yet personally still be friends, get another job, for Pete’s sake.” (“What made Scalia and Ginsburg’s Friendship Work,” washingtonpost.com, https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/02/13/what-made-scalia-and-ginsburgs-friendship-work/?utm_term=.4bcd29f85d5d,)
But think about how far different the thinking is today when it comes to people with whom we disagree? We cancel each other, we separate, we talk about — but never to — each other, we post the most radical and ridiculous things on Facebook. And we don’t think the other person deserves to have their voice heard. And that seems all well and good as long as the majority agrees with you — but — and I think this is obvious — we Christians are no longer in the majority. In a culture of tolerance, the one group everyone can be intolerant towards are Christians.
Which leads us to ask, “So how have we — Christians — responded to all of this?” Well many Christians have simply aligned themselves with a group who they think still has a powerful enough voice to fight back on their behalf. It may be a political party. Or an organization or cause that has momentum and lots of support. And what happens is that — though these folks are Christians — they’re primarily known for something else — and almost always — in our country — it’s a political party. Thus — in the U.S. — evangelicals are known as a voting block — and an important one — more than we’re known for loving our neighbors as ourselves or that we’re the most joyful people on the planet because of what Christ has done for us.
And though we Christians have been quick to go our separate ways with one another — “Oh you believe in predestination — or infant baptism — or speaking in tongues — or that God expects his people to financially support the church — well then — I’m outta here. I’ll go find a church that agrees with me.” Though we Christians are quick to move from one church to another — think of how committed we are to our political party. Even when your party says or does something you disagree with — our commitment to our political party goes on. And here’s something that should scare all of us — even when our political party does or says something in opposition to the gospel — many Christians will still stick with their party. But not with a church — we can always find a new church — we think.
And this barrier — of allowing our disagreements to cause us to separate — the reason why this barrier is important for us to overcome together — is because the Christian faith shows us that there’s room for disagreement, and conversations, and debate among God’s people — more space for disagreement than you find in your political party. And these disagreements don’t have to lead to separation, but can — in fact — lead to an even greater bond and unity among God’s people in a local church.
And think of how often you see people disagreeing well these days? Your news feeds are just full of people and groups disagreeing well, right? Wrong! How often are we seeing people try to find common ground with those they disagree with? Compare that to how often we see people cancelling each other out, calling people childish names, and yelling at each other during interviews? When we think of disagreements in our nation, do you think “respectful dialogue” with each other or “outrage and hostility” towards each other?
And that means we — God’s people — have an amazing opportunity to show our nation something radically different — something even supernatural. We can show that disagreements don’t have to end in name calling, or outrage, or going our separate ways. And — instead — disagreements among us are an opportunity for us to show the culture how to engage in difficult conversations AND remain in relationship with each other — in unity with each other. We have the opportunity to show our neighbors and fellow citizens how to disagree and still love one another.
So let’s look at this disagreement between Paul and Barnabas and then we’ll think through how we — God’s people today — might disagree with each other in a way that forges unity — instead of disunity — among us.
Let’s begin back in verse 36.
And after some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brothers in every city where we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.” 37 Now Barnabas wanted to take with them John called Mark. 38 But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. 39 And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other. Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus, 40 but Paul chose Silas and departed, having been commended by the brothers to the grace of the Lord. 41 And he went through Syria and Cilicia, strengthening the churches. (Acts 15:36-41 ESV)
So Luke — remember he’s the author of Acts — he’s been hired to verify facts about the early church. And this could’ve easily been a fact to omit. Luke could’ve just noted that Paul began his second missionary journey with a new sidekick and we’d have been none the wiser. I mean — this split doesn’t exactly put Paul and Barnabas in a positive light. But Luke doesn’t spin this schism in a positive way. He doesn’t ignore that it happened. He just records the facts — Paul and Barnabas went their different ways because they could not agree on whether or not to allow Mark to join them. And — if you remember from some time ago — I mentioned that we’re not really sure why Mark left them.
But — what we can tell from this story — is that Paul and Barnabas have a disagreement — a difference of opinion over values. Which matters more? The value of loyalty or the value of forgiveness. Paul doesn’t want to take Mark along because he thinks that Mark was disloyal to them when he left. Barnabas values forgiveness — something he gave to Paul — by the way — when everyone else questioned the authenticity of Paul’s conversion — Barnabas was willing to give Paul a chance. Which makes Paul’s behavior — here — a bit ironic. The man who’d received the kindness and forgiveness of Barnabas parts ways with him when Barnabas wants to extend those same values to someone else.
And — let me say — that both loyalty and forgiveness — or kindness — are honorable values. Loyalty is a great thing. So is forgiveness. But something not good is the result of these two men being so committed to their specific value that they’re willing to go their separate ways. And — something Luke does here — as well as Paul’s own words from another letter — indicate that he — the apostle Paul — is the one who’s wrong.
What do I mean? Let’s begin with Luke. Luke uses a play on words — in the Greek — that we don’t quite see in our English Bibles. Here’s essentially what he does. In verse 38, we read, “But Paul thought best not to take with them one who had withdrawn from them...” (Acts 15:38a, ESV) The Greek word — translated in English as “withdrawn” is closely related to the word used in verse 39, where we read, “And there arose a sharp disagreement, so that they separated from each other.” (Acts 15:39a, ESV) Luke’s not so subtle point — appears to be — “The thing that Mark did — that’s upset Paul — is the very thing that Paul’s doing now.”
So Luke seems to imply that Paul is the one who’s wrong, but what about Paul? Well — in the moment — he’s dug in his heels and — as we saw last week — we always think we’re the one who’s right in a disagreement. But — often — later on in life we may see things a bit differently. And in some of his last words — when he knew his time was running short — he figured his death was near — when he was in need of the presence of close friends and ministry partners — Paul writes, “Timothy, please come as soon as you can...11 Only Luke is with me. Bring Mark with you when you come, for he will be helpful to me in my ministry.” (2 Timothy 4:9, 11 NLT)
“Timothy, come to me as quickly as possible. And bring Mark with you…” At some point, Paul has a change of heart about Mark. We’re not sure why he changes but — eventually — we find Paul imitating Barnabas’ forgiveness and kindness — when it comes to Mark — rather than the other way around.
Speaking of Barnabas — how hard of a decision do you think this was for him? Both Paul and Mark make this decision tough for him. I mean, if only Mark had stuck around the first time — there’d be no disagreement. If only Paul wasn’t so thick headed — there’d be no disagreement. How’s Barnabas supposed to choose between Paul and Mark? And — to make things even more difficult — Mark and Barnabas are related to each other. (See Colossians 4:10) Sometimes our disagreements put others in a very difficult situation.
Now — back to Luke writing all of this down — as I said — he doesn’t spin this split. Will good things happen as a result of these two men going their separate ways? Yes. But the fact that good will come from it doesn’t make the split good. This isn’t any sort of strategic, well-thought out, “Let’s multiply for the kingdom of God” kind of decision. This is — as someone has said — an “emotionally charged conflict.” (See Craig S. Keener, Acts: An Exegetical Commentary (Grand Rapids: Baker Academic, 2014), 2:2307.) And this is a direct contrast to the unity and harmony we saw last week — in how to disagree.
But again — does good result of this “how not to disagree” moment? Yes. But that’s because of the grace and sovereignty of God and not because of Paul and Barnabas’ decision. And we should never place our bets — on us disagreeing and going our separate ways — we should never place our bets on God using our ungodly decisions for good. He can do that. But let’s be honest with ourselves — is this the kind of witnesses we want to be? Is this the legacy we want to pass on to our children? A bunch of people who couldn’t agree — so we went our separate ways — with a little asterisk that says, “And God still used them anyway.” I hope that none of us want that to be our testimony for Christ and that — instead — we would work towards being the kind of witnesses God desires us to be. People who agree strongly on the essentials of our faith and yet give liberty to one another in matters that are not essential. Finding it a joy and delight to be in community with people who we love in spite of not agreeing on every single thing.
But how do we do this? How do we be this kind of people — this kind of church? First, when it comes to disagreements, one of the barriers we must face is the easy choice of ignoring or avoiding our disagreements in order to maintain peace. This can be detrimental to our unity because — when we ignore our disagreements — we believe we have peace and unity with one another when — in reality — we have unspoken division.
Another reason why we may ignore our disagreements — instead of engaging in conversation with each other — is because we’re afraid that if we talk with someone who disagrees with us — we may be exposed as being incompetent. What do I mean? Let’s use the example of infant baptism and child dedication — man that was a good disagreement we worked through. Say you believe strongly in infant baptism and are opposed to child dedications. Yet — you know that there are folks at Gateway who believe that child dedications are biblical. If you sit down to talk with them about their position — how does Scripture defend their view, why they don’t hold your view, etc… — you may discover that you don’t know as much about their view — or yours — as you thought you did. And that can be scary — or it can encourage you to go and study your Bible so you can dialogue with a fellow believer who has a different view than you. You may even learn something because we all have a lot to learn about our faith. As a 20th century philosopher said, “The growth of knowledge depends entirely upon disagreement.” (Karl Popper) Or as an author of a book I was recently reading writes, “Most [Christians] don’t believe what they believe because they made a careful study of Scripture. Someone they trusted told them what to believe. Later they learned to support that belief with a little Scripture.” (Jack Deere, Why I Am Still Surprised by the Power of the Spirit, 246.) And when you find another Christian who holds a different position than you, you now have the opportunity to go and do that careful study of Scripture.
And I love the fact that some Christians are compelled to defend against false doctrine — or to say it positively — to defend sound doctrine — not just major doctrines — even minor ones. But one thing we can never forget is that the unity of the body of Christ is one of those major doctrines we must defend. The commands to love one another and persevere with one another — are doctrines we must defend and protect. We must pursue sound gospel doctrine and sound gospel culture — together.
And these days we have a plethora of issues with which we could divide, quarrel, and split over. And to put this in an eternal perspective, when you stand before the throne of God, what battles will you look back on and be proud of fighting for? What do you think will get Jesus to say to you, “Well done thou good and faithful servant?” These last 8 months have been full of opportunities to do some “well done thou good and faithful servant” stuff and these last 8 months have given us numerous opportunities to distract ourselves from fighting the good fight and — instead — fight over all kinds of other things.
And my concern — for us — is that many of us have so dug our heels in on some things — the election, views on masks, etc...that we’re deceiving ourselves into thinking that Jesus is going to say, “I’m so proud of the way you behaved in 2020. Well done!”
And that was so uncomfortable to write — but it’s something we all need to hear. Why? Because the unity of the church is so valuable to Jesus that he died so we might be unified in spite of our differences. And what we should all hope for — on that day when we stand before Jesus — is that the battles that we fought for and are proud of — are battles — not over presidential elections or masks — but battles defending the essentials of our faith. By grace alone, through faith alone, in Christ alone, according to the Scriptures alone, and for the glory of God alone.
So how do we do this? We looked at how to disagree — a bit — last week — but here are some other helpful — and biblical — reminders about how God expects his people to live in unity with one another. To the Ephesians, Paul writes, “Therefore I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. 2 Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. 3 Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. 4 For there is one body and one Spirit, just as you have been called to one glorious hope for the future.” (Ephesians 4:1-4 NLT)
If we want to disagree well — first — we must be humble. As we saw a few weeks ago, a barrier we all face — in our being witnesses for Christ — is our pride. And part of the path to unity is us being a humble people. As Paul tells the Christians living in Philippi, “Is there any encouragement from belonging to Christ? Any comfort from his love? Any fellowship together in the Spirit? Are your hearts tender and compassionate? 2 Then make me truly happy by agreeing wholeheartedly with each other, loving one another, and working together with one mind and purpose. 3 Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. 4 Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. 5 You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. 6 Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. 7 Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, 8 he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross. 9 Therefore, God elevated him to the place of highest honor and gave him the name above all other names, 10 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, 11 and every tongue declare that Jesus Christ is Lord, to theglory of God the Father.” (Philippians 2:1-11 NLT)
Second, we must be gentle with each other. The author of Proverbs tells us, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.” (Proverbs 15:1, NLT) Our culture — especially on social media — is full of harsh words that make tempers flare. But we — God’s people — are to be gentle with our words so we extinguish — and not pour gasoline — on the anger that’s raging around us. Paul tells us to, “Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near.” (Philippians 4:5, NIV) Not only does our gentleness extinguish anger it’s evidence that we know that our Lord is near.
Third, we must be patient with each other. Paul tells Timothy, “Preach the word of God. Be prepared, whether the time is favorable or not. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage your people with good teaching.” (2 Timothy 4:2, NLT) Be prepared to preach the Word at any time. But don’t be a jerk about it. Patiently correct, rebuke, and encourage those who listen to you.
Fourth, we must work towards unity in peace. Paul tells us to, “let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace.” (Colossians 3:15, NLT) This is a supernatural peace given to us from our supernatural Christ and Savior — the Lord and King of our hearts.
And — fifth — we do all of this because we’re all part of one body — the church — the body of Christ — and all have one Spirit — the Holy Spirit — living in us — and all have one glorious future in which we hope — eternity with our Lord and Savior. And our Lord and Savior has commanded us to love one another. And — though hijacked by weddings — Paul tells us — the church — what our love for one another is to be like. “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 6 It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7, NLT)
Pastor Dave Willis has said, “One of the truest signs of maturity is the ability to disagree with someone while still remaining respectful.” And that’s not just true for us individually, but is true for us corporately — as a church. A mark of our spiritual maturity — as a church — is our ability to be so committed to the gospel that we’re unified on the essentials and yet have space for disagreement when it comes to non-essentials. Things that may be important, but aren’t the most important. Beliefs we may have a strong opinion on, but not so strong that others — who agree with us on the gospel — can’t disagree with us on these other things without us going our separate ways.
Paul seems to have learned his lesson. He asked Timothy to, “Bring Mark with you…” May we learn from Paul — how he both got tripped up by this barrier — and how he overcame it — so we are a people who show our culture what unity looks like — even when we disagree. That we would be witnesses of what Christ gave his life for — unity in his church — even though we live in a divided world. Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father, Once again we’ve encountered grace upon grace that you’ve promised to us. Gifts of grace that we don’t deserve, but are deeply thankful for. That in this divided world, your Son has made unity possible even when we find ourselves in the midst of a disagreement. That unlike what the world offers — disagreement leads to division — you’ve offered something sweet to our souls. A community of people, transformed by your grace who love one another, persevere with each other, and are committed to one another because we’re committed to your gospel.
Spirit of God, give us unity, we pray. Christ died so we would be unified as you have come to seal his perfect work in our hearts. Empower us so we fight against disunity and be faithful witnesses to Christ together.
And Jesus. We thank you for living, dying, and defeating Satan, sin, death, and hell so we would be a unified people. You gave your life for us so that we would disagree well with each other as we remain unified and committed to your gospel and each other. Thank you for not going your separate way from us when you disagree with us. Because — honestly — the amount of things we believe and do that you disagree are too numerous to count. Thank you for not abandoning us at the first sign of a disagreement. Help us to not abandon each other in the same way. And we pray all of these things in your name. Amen.
May you go committed to showing a divided world that Christ has made unity possible even when there’s disagreement. Amen.
God loves you. I love you. You are sent.
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