Worshipping as a Family in "Big Church"

When will everything be ‘normal’ again? Will life EVER be ‘normal’ once again? When will Kidway be up and running so my whole family can go back to church? There’s no way I’m bringing my kids to church with me unless their classes are open!..... Have any of these thoughts crossed your mind recently?

We’ve all experienced much change during the past few months, and it sounds like it will still be a while before “normal” returns. Since we aren’t sure at this point in time exactly when it will be safe to offer children’s classes again at Gateway, I would encourage you to consider bringing your children with you to “big church,” as many kids call it. I know this sounds strange coming from the Next Gen Director, but I believe “big church” is important for kids to attend even at a young age. There is much that kids can learn from attending church with their parents. It’s not always convenient nor is it easy, but it can teach your children the meaning and value of worship.

I recently asked several Gateway families who, even before this pandemic started, regularly took their kids into the main worship service to share why they choose to have their children sit with them during the service. They also shared some tips and practical advice on how to do it. Here are some of their answers.

Question: Why do you choose to have your children sit with you during the service?

“Having our kids attend worship exposes them to what our worship looks like and we as parents can model what it looks like to worship as adults.” ~ Rose

“This article, The Family: Together in God's Presence, by Jon Piper and his wife, inspired us to start including our kids in corporate worship, even if it was less convenient for us.” ~ Elizabeth

“We wanted to expose (our son) to the richness of the adult worship time to help his faith and understanding of Christ grow. It is important for our kids to see us serving at church. I believe it’s also important that they see us worshiping in that adult church setting as well.” ~ Jena

“I feel that Gateway does a really good job at making children feel comfortable in both Kidway or being in "big church" as we call it in our family. I think our church is very accommodating for kids to be in services with their parents!” ~ Emma

“We like to worship together as a family. We also like them to hear the same message from the pastor that we are hearing, and we can then talk about the service together after church. We like the kids to be able to see the congregation as a whole worshipping together. We also want our children to have the ability to sit still and be quiet for an extended period of time.” ~ Cori

Question: Do you have any tips on how to attend the main service with your kids by your side?

“We bring coloring supplies and a few small toys to service. We try not to overpack to avoid chaos, and each kid has their own stuff to avoid squabbles during service. When our kids were younger they got Cheerios one at a time for the entire service! We talk about standing during the music and being quiet during the teaching ahead of time. At first, I was ready to quit. I thought they were too distracting and I felt like it was stressful for me to be asking someone to sit or stop talking or stop drawing on all the church envelopes, but my husband insisted on staying the course and they got used to it. They do well. It never seems like they’re paying attention, but afterwards we will get random questions that make us see they are getting more than we realize.” ~ Elizabeth

“My kids are not allowed to open their activity bag till the pastor starts the sermon. They are asked to participate in singing, listen to announcements, etc. Our kids pack their own special church bag, that way it’s one less thing I need to get ready on Sundays. It’s okay to get up and take your kid out to talk to them when they misbehave. I know it can feel like all eyes are on you but remember the older folks have had little ones too.” ~ Rose

“We allow our son to bring in a small bag of items he can utilize during worship. We also have our son use the restroom before service starts so he won't need to go during service. (That can't always be something that is completely stopped, but usually helps!) We discuss the expectations of his behavior before even coming into church, and we usually talk about these in the car on the way to church! The expectations for each child/family may vary slightly, but those expectations may also hold consequences if they are broken. I believe setting clear boundaries/discussing expectations with consequences is important to show the value of this time of worship for families.” ~ Jena

I have a kids’ Bible app downloaded on my phone that I let my daughter watch/play during the sermon. We also do RightNowMedia just during the sermon. I tell her that she has to participate in something Biblical during church.” ~ Emma

“It takes time and is a learning process for the children, so don’t expect them to be perfect. Expect to have to take little ones out of the service sometimes. But if you have to take them out, it is best to not let them run around out in the lobby because they can realize if they do something to need to be taken out of service, then they get to play. If I have to take our youngest out, I hold him in the back or right outside the door or make him sit on my lap on a couch in the lobby. Your kids usually seem louder to you than to others. We have had multiple times where we think our kids were so loud or too distracting to find out that people around us didn’t even hear them. Separating children (especially ones that may talk more) by parents sitting between them is helpful.” ~ Cori

Ideas for things to pack:

• For toddlers: cereal, drink, doodle boards, quiet books, quiet toy, etc.
• For preschool and Kindergarten age: Bible, books of choice, doodle boards, snack (in packaging that won’t be loud when opened) & drink
• For elementary age: Bible, books, paper, pencils, journal for drawing and writing, dry erase markers with a sock for erasing and a small white board; tablet for reading(but not for games), markers, gel pens, something fun to color with in a pencil pouch, a special treat such as gum.

At Gateway, we are currently providing a coloring sheet and a sermon note sheet along with pencils and crayons each Sunday for children. These are available at the back of the sanctuary. We hope these tips have been helpful as you consider coming back to church as a family and as you think through what that might look like. We look forward to seeing you and your family in “big church” again soon!