SERMON TITLE: For Family
TEXT: Psalm 128:1-6 (ESV)
SPEAKER: Josh Hanson
DATE: 1/24/21
You can watch the sermon here.
You can find the sermon notes here.
As always it’s a joy to be with all of you this weekend at Gateway Church. And the one thing I always want you to know — no matter if you’re worshipping with us in person or joining us online — I want you to know that God loves you and that I love you too.
We’ve begun 2021 with a series that’s focused on who God is and implications for what this means in different areas of life. We’ve seen that God is for justice. That he’s for life. And — today — we’re going to see that God is for the family. But the foundation for this series is the biblical truth that God is first and foremost for himself. This is what we saw in the first week of this series — God is first and foremost for himself — which means we — his people — are to be first and foremost for God too. So with this in mind, let’s turn to our passage for today as we conclude this series.
If you have your Bible please turn with me to Psalm 128. We’ll be looking at all six verses of Psalm 128.
And while you’re finding Psalm 128, here’s what’s coming up over the next few weeks. Near the end of 2020, I invited some staff to participate in a conversation about preaching in 2021. I wanted to see who was interested in preaching and what they would like to focus on. And the series we’ve been in has actually set us up for what some staff — and even a couple of elders — will be preaching on when I’m out of the pulpit. They’ll be preaching from the psalms — beginning with Psalm 1 and continuing through the psalms in order.
So — for the next few weeks — we’ll be in psalms one, two, and three as Cody, pastor Robert, and Mike Norman preach to us from these psalms. And then we’ll be back in the eighth chapter of the book of Romans — which we began last year. And — Romans chapter 8 — is going to take us all the way through the end of May. So now we all know what’s coming up.
And with that, here are the words found in Psalm 128. Beginning in verse 1.
Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways! 2 You shall eat the fruit of the labor of your hands; you shall be blessed, and it shall be well with you. 3 Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house; your children will be like olive shoots around your table. 4 Behold, thus shall the man be blessed who fears the Lord. 5 The Lord bless you from Zion! May you see the prosperity of Jerusalem all the days of your life! 6 May you see your children’s children! Peace be upon Israel! (Psalm 128:1-6 ESV)
So this sermon is sort of a part two of last week. Because — much of what it means to be for the family — was covered when we talked about children last week. But this week, our psalm will springboard us into what it means to be for the family as we look at three different aspects of family life that all of God’s people are to be for.
But — as we talk about family — we must recognize that today we’re going to have to fight against some societal expectations and values. For our society tends to downplay the importance of family — yet — people still have a desire to be connected to other people in a family like way. Thus our mission — to connect people to Jesus Christ and to one another — directly links to this innate desire we all have — to be connected to other people.
So — though the family has been downplayed — the desire to be connected to others is still valued. Thus people join various clubs, and organizations and gyms and online communities in order to be connected to others. And — let me say — this desire for connection to other people — it’s a good thing. And the pandemic has shown us the importance of being connected to other people — we’re not made for isolation or digital only relationships. We need each other and we need each other’s physical presence.
However — in ignoring the important role of the family — we’ve replaced what God is for — the family — with some poor substitutes. For the connectedness that God desires for us is one of flourishing that’s found by being part of a family.
Now — our psalm begins by showing us the blessings that God gives to those who fear him. And we briefly looked at the fear of the Lord a few weeks ago — but in case you weren’t here — to fear the Lord means “that God’s people stand always in awe of him, appreciate his supremacy and greatness, fear the consequences of disobeying his will, and [they do] not treat lightly any aspect of their covenant relationship with him, lest the consequences be severe or even fatal.” (Douglas K. Stuart, Exodus, The New American Commentary (Nashville: B&H Publishers, 2006), 240.)
So — fearing the Lord — it does mean to respect him — but it also means to be in awe of him, to recognize his greatness, to fear the consequences of disobeying him, and to not dismiss our responsibility to live for him. Now — a Christian — being secure in the love of God because of all that Christ has done on their behalf — a Christian should not be afraid of God’s eternal punishment. But we should still have a fear of the Lord. A standing in awe of who he is, an appreciation of his supremacy and greatness, a fearing of the consequences of disobedience while desiring to honor him with every word that comes out of our mouth, every thought in our mind, and every action we make. No fear of eternal judgement — but that doesn’t mean we treat our relationship with God lightly.
And treating our relationship with God lightly is something plaguing churches these days. Which means we miss out on the blessings that God gives to those who do fear him. One of the blessings being the connectedness that’s found in being part of a family.
Now — in talking about being for the family — I want to turn to three ways we’re to be for the family. We’re to be for those who are married. For those who are single. And for our church family. Three ways we are to demonstrate that we’re for what God is for — and he’s for the family. Again — our psalm begins with the words, “Blessed is everyone who fears the Lord, who walks in his ways!” (Psalm 128:1 ESV) So let’s walk in his ways and be for the family.
Let’s begin by considering what it means to be for those who are married. To be for those who are married means — first — that we recognize that God is the One who’s defined for us what marriage is — for God created marriage.
In the book of Genesis — before sin entered the world — we read, “Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” 19 Now out of the ground the Lord God had formed every beast of the field and every bird of the heavens and brought them to the man to see what he would call them. And whatever the man called every living creature, that was its name. 20 The man gave names to all livestock and to the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 21 So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. 22 And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. 23 Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” 24 Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed.” (Genesis 2:18-25 ESV)
God saw that it was not good for the man to be alone. There was no suitable helper for him in all of the creatures. So God created the woman — the perfect helpmate — for the man. And — though it’s not explicitly stated — in verse twenty-four — we witness the first marriage between the man and woman. In the New Testament, the apostle Paul quotes from these verses — in Genesis — when he writes this about marriage.
“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.” (Ephesians 5:22-33 ESV)
In Colossians Paul says something similar, but with fewer words, when he writes, “Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” (Colossians 3:18-19 ESV)
OK. Let’s use the Ephesians passage to show us how in — being people who believe the gospel — we must be for marriage as God defines it. Paul tells us that marriage is meant to communicate the gospel to the world. How so? Well he connects the marriage of a husband and wife to the marriage of Christ and his bride — the Church. So there is a heavenly marriage that all earthly marriages are meant to point to.
And Paul gives us an analogy between the Heavenly marriage and earthly marriages.
The Heavenly marriage is a union between Christ — the husband — married to his bride — the Church.
And Paul says that — in earthly marriages — the husband is to represent Christ and the wife is to represent the Church.
So a few implications from this as to what it means to be for marriage as God defines it. First — and buckle your seat belts because these all go against the cultural air we breathe — but first — this means that to be for marriage — as God defines it — is to be for marriage between one man and one woman. Here’s why. Paul tells us that earthly marriages are an illustration of — or a witness to — the marriage of Christ to his bride — the Church. And — by the way — this Heavenly marriage is the great hope of the gospel that we proclaim. That — for all eternity — the people of God will be in union — connected to — their Savior.
But as we’ve already seen, the man — in marriage — represents Christ. And the woman represents the Church.
But think of what’s communicated in a same sex marriage. If it’s two men, the Heavenly marriage being represented then — according to Paul — is Christ being married to himself. And if we — the Church — aren’t joined to Christ in eternal marriage — then we are separated from him for all eternity — which means we go to Hell.
If it’s two women in marriage, the Heavenly marriage being illustrated then — according to Paul — is the Church being married to herself. And if we — the Church — aren’t joined to Christ in eternal marriage — then we are separated from him for all eternity — which means we go to Hell.
Thus, marriage between one man and one woman is the only earthly marriage that fulfills the gospel hope that — Paul says — all marriages are meant to point to: The marriage between Christ and the Church.
Now — if you struggle with same sex attraction — please don’t hear me saying that you aren’t loved by God or by us — we love you. Please don’t think that I’m saying that you can’t be part of the bride of Christ — the Church — I’m not saying that either. I’ll come back to how we are to love you — and support you in living a life of holiness for Christ — and what it means for all of us to be part of the Church — in a few minutes.
Now — second — and if you thought that was fun — well — wait for this one. Because even heterosexual marriages can distort the gospel picture that marriage is meant to proclaim. So let’s talk about the responsibilities of the husband and the wife — in marriage — so our earthly marriages point others to the Heavenly marriage. Wives are to submit to their husbands — in everything — just as the Church is to submit to Christ in everything — this is straight from the words in Ephesians. But — before the men get the wrong idea — or the women — let’s not ignore the fact that Paul writes three verses to the wives and eight verses to the husbands. Men — that’s more than double the verses to us about our responsibility in marriage. So what’s the husband to do? To love his wife as Christ loves the Church. And that’s no small responsibility.
Now — unfortunately — both of these responsibilities have been used as weapons against one another in marriage. “I’ll submit to you when you love me like Christ loves the Church.” “Well — I’ll love you like Christ loves the Church — once you submit to me.” Thus instead of — as the psalmist states in verse three — “Your wife will be like a fruitful vine within your house...” (Psalm 128:3a ESV) — a fruitful vine is a flourishing vine. Instead of flourishing — due to being connected to your spouse and having a marriage that joyfully proclaims the gospel to others — fruitlessness is what many settle for in their marriage. Or — more often the case — we don’t even settle.
Thus, in the United States, about 50% of married couples divorce, the sixth-highest divorce rate in the world. Subsequent marriages have an even higher divorce rate: 60% of second marriages end in divorce and 73% of all third marriages end in divorce. (“Divorce Rate by State 2020,” worldpopulationreview.com, https://worldpopulationreview.com/state-rankings/divorce-rate-by-state.) So — instead of flourishing — and our marriages being a witness to the gospel — there’s brokenness in our marriages — including our marriages at Gateway. And — I might as well go here — if you’re living together — and not married — know that you’re not proclaiming the gospel in your relationship. You’re distorting Christ’s marriage to the Church to be some sort of non-committal kind of relationship. And Christ is eternally committed to his bride. And we distort his commitment to us both through marriages that end in divorce and by cohabitation before marriage.
But think of the beauty that our marriages would be — and the connectedness we’d experience — if what Paul shows us marriage is to be is what we — the people of God — were for. So — though it’s easy to be against something — like being against same sex marriage — that doesn’t mean that we’re actually for marriage as God defines it. Because — to be for marriage — means that we’re working towards what God has shown us marriage is to be. A gospel witness. A husband loving his wife as Christ loves the Church. And a wife submitting to her husband as the Church submits to Christ.
But we can’t just dismiss Paul — he’s not the only one who shows us that this is what it means to be for marriage. The apostle Peter writes, “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, 2 when they see your respectful and pure conduct. 3 Do not let your adorning be external — the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear — 4 but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious. 5 For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, 6 as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. 7 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.” (1 Peter 3:1-7 ESV)
The God we worship is for the family. And for us — to be for the family — means we must understand what our marriages are to proclaim. And they’re to proclaim the gospel message. They’re to demonstrate a Heavenly and eternal reality — Christ’s marriage to his bride — the Church.
So — yes — we must stand firm in defining marriage as being between one man and one woman — especially as culture continues to spiral morally out of control. But we must also — in being for marriage — and with the help of the Spirit of God — we must work towards making our marriages a witness of the gospel.
Now — being for those who are single and for the church — aren’t found directly in our psalm. But since we talked about children — last week — I don’t want to miss the opportunity to show us — biblically — what it means for all of us to be connected to one another. For though many are married — not all are — nor will all be. Some of us are married now and may find ourselves some day not married. Some struggle with same sex attraction and yet want to live faithfully according to God’s standard for human sexuality — thus — they choose singleness out of their devotion to Christ. So — if you’re single — know that you are loved and that we are for you.
Now — as we just saw — marriage is ultimately about what it points us to — the marriage of Christ to the Church. So married or single — if you believe in Christ — you are part of the Church — the bride of Christ. Thus, in Heaven all of us will be married — but only to Christ. Which means our earthly marriages are only temporary for they point to the greater — more significant — Heavenly marriage as we saw in Ephesians.
Which leads us to ask, “What does it mean to be for those who are single? What should family life look like for those who are single? And — maybe just as importantly — for those who are married — how do we connect to those who are single?” Because the God we are for — is for those who are single.
If we think back to Paul’s words about marriage — in Ephesians — we see that marriage is designed to demonstrate Christ’s love and devotion to the Church and the Church’s submission to him. Yet, because marriage is the union of two sinners — often the testimony is less than stellar. And this is where singles have a unique opportunity that I don’t want the singles among us to underestimate.
Your singleness is a unique opportunity to demonstrate the Church’s love, devotion, and submission to Christ. Listen to Paul’s words — who was single, by the way — about singleness. After talking about how sex can make the marriage relationship complicated, he writes, “But I wish everyone were single, just as I am. Yet each person has a special gift from God, of one kind or another. 8 So I say to those who aren’t married and to widows — it’s better to stay unmarried, just as I am. 9 But if they can’t control themselves, they should go ahead and marry. It’s better to marry than to burn with lust...32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.” (1 Corinthians 7:7-9, 32-35 NLT)
Did you catch the unexpected opportunity in being single? In the church, often singleness is viewed as incompleteness — or as “what you have to go through before the real thing happens” — marriage. And that’s because we’ve undervalued the calling to singleness.
Paul calls singleness a gift. The same word used for things like the gift of preaching, the gift of leadership, or the gift of mercy. Singleness is a gift. How different would we view singleness if we saw it as a gift of the Spirit of God? An opportunity to spend undivided time doing the Lord’s work and thinking solely about how to please him. An opportunity to show others — in a way that married people can’t — that our relationship with Jesus is preeminent. Which is how singleness — instead of pointing to the individual who is single — is an opportunity to point others to Christ. Because singleness is a unique opportunity to show others that God is better than anything and anyone else.
Now — my wife does a great job of looking out for those who are single — I’m not sure if it’s natural to her or a supernatural gift from the Spirit — but either way — she finds a way to make sure that our family welcomes singles to be part of our family. This past Christmas, we had a mom and her son, a neighbor in her 60s, and a young lady in our church — all who are single — we had them all over for a Christmas breakfast and to play some games. These people are treasured gifts who — in being for the family — we have a responsibility — forget responsibility — it’s just the loving thing to do — to invite them into our family.
In what ways might you invite those who are single into your family to show them that you are for them because you are for the family? And — if you’re single — don’t feel like you’re a burden. It’s an honor and privilege to welcome you into our families because you are family.
Which leads us to the last family I want to bring to our attention — our faith family — the church. To be for families — like our God is for families — means that we’re for our faith family — Gateway Church.
Listen to some of Paul’s words in letters he wrote to fellow Christians. Listen for the language of family.
To the church in Corinth he writes, “I am not writing these things to shame you, but to warn you as my beloved children. 15 For even if you had ten thousand others to teach you about Christ, you have only one spiritual father. For I became your father in Christ Jesus when I preached the Good News to you. 16 So I urge you to imitate me. 17 That’s why I have sent Timothy, my beloved and faithful child in the Lord. He will remind you of how I follow Christ Jesus, just as I teach in all the churches wherever I go.” (1 Corinthians 4:14-17 NLT)
To the church in Thessalonica he writes, “Don’t you remember, dear brothers and sisters, how hard we worked among you? Night and day we toiled to earn a living so that we would not be a burden to any of you as we preached God’s Good News to you. 10 You yourselves are our witnesses — and so is God — that we were devout and honest and faultless toward all of you believers. 11 And you know that we treated each of you as a father treats his own children. 12 We pleaded with you, encouraged you, and urged you to live your lives in a way that God would consider worthy. For he called you to share in his Kingdom and glory.” (1 Thessalonians 2:9-12 NLT)
To the young pastor — Timothy — he writes, “Never speak harshly to an older man, but appeal to him respectfully as you would to your own father. Talk to younger men as you would to your own brothers. 2 Treat older women as you would your mother, and treat younger women with all purity as you would your own sisters.” (1 Timothy 5:1-2 NLT)
And — to the church in Galatia — Paul writes, “Therefore, whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone — especially to those in the family of faith.” (Galatians 6:10 NLT)
To be for the family means that we’re for our church family. One implication — of being for our church family — is making our gathered time of worship a priority of our week. Yet worship attendance in our country has been drastically dropping — even long before the pandemic. Are we for our faith family if we’re not gathering with them? Is a father being honest when he says his family is important to him even though he rarely makes it home for dinner, or to the kid’s ball games, or — on vacation — he’s on his cell phone or laptop doing work instead of being present with his family? He may say the right words, but his actions drown them out. Similarly, to be for our faith family means that gathering to worship God with each other is a priority.
Additionally, to be for our faith family means we connect to other members of our church. We do this at Gateway through our Life Groups — an opportunity for us to connect to one another. Can we really say we’re for our faith family if we’re not in community with each other? A husband and wife may be legally married and yet not connected in any way to one another. Living separate lives — while having a legal marriage certificate — is not what marriage is meant to be. Similarly, being part of a church — while not connecting to people in the church — isn’t what it means to be for your faith family.
And to be for our faith family means that we support the work of our church through regular financial giving. The Church — as we’ve seen — is the bride of Christ. The Church is what Jesus came to build. The Church is the family of God. Can we honestly say that we’re for our faith family if we’re not financially supporting the work of our church?
Once — when speaking to some religious leaders in his day — Jesus said to them, ““You hypocrites! Isaiah was right when he prophesied about you, for he wrote, ‘These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. 7 Their worship is a farce, for they teach man-made ideas as commands from God.’ 8 For you ignore God’s law and substitute your own tradition.” 9 Then he said, “You skillfully sidestep God’s law in order to hold on to your own tradition. 10 For instance, Moses gave you this law from God: ‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘Anyone who speaks disrespectfully of father or mother must be put to death.’ 11 But you say it is all right for people to say to their parents, ‘Sorry, I can’t help you. For I have vowed to give to God what I would have given to you.’ 12 In this way, you let them disregard their needy parents. 13 And so you cancel the word of God in order to hand down your own tradition. And this is only one example among many others.”” (Mark 7:6b-14 NLT)
They demonstrated they weren’t for their family by what they did with their money. And — I’m sure you noticed — that Jesus didn’t care that they were vowing their money to God. He was ticked that they weren’t caring for their mom and dad. And giving is a way that we demonstrate that we’re for our faith family. We can’t vow the money — we should be giving to the church — to some other noble cause and think it doesn’t upset Jesus. He won’t be fooled or mocked. The Church is his bride. The Church is what he came to build. The Church is his faith family.
And I’m so thankful for how many of you stepped up last year — in that crazy year of 2020. In the last 10 days of 2020 — those of you who gave financially — gave nearly $174,000 in those final 10 days. Amazing. Something else amazing is that the seven days prior to that you gave just over $118,000. And that doesn’t include the Christmas Eve offering. I so appreciate the commitment that many of you have to your faith family. May the Lord bless you for your faithfulness to your faith family.
For the past few weeks, we’ve been looking at things God is for. He’s first and foremost for himself and we’re to be first and foremost for God too. He’s also for justice, for life, and for the family and we — the people of God — people transformed by the grace of God as revealed in Jesus Christ — people who believe the gospel and are committed to following Christ — are to be people who are for justice, and for life, and for the family. May our commitment in being for these things demonstrate to others that — most importantly — we are for our God. Let’s pray.
Heavenly Father, thank you for being for the family. For marriages. For those who are single. And for this family of faith — Gateway Church.
Spirit of God, lead, guide, and direct us so that — for those of us who are married — our marriages point others to the Heavenly marriage of Christ to his bride. Help us husbands to love our wives as Christ loves the Church. Help wives to submit to their husbands as the church is to submit to Christ. Help those who are single to show others that God is preeminent in their life. And help us — as a family of faith — to show that we are for one another because we are committed to Christ.
Jesus, thank you for being the faithful husband to us — your unfaithful bride. Though we betray you, chase after other lovers, and often fail to keep our promises to you — not once — not once — have you betrayed us, abandoned us for another lover, or failed to keep a single promise you’ve made to us. What undeserved grace and love. What undeserved kindness and faithfulness. What a commitment you have to us. May we be amazed by your faithfulness and respond by being first and foremost for you. And it’s in your name that we pray all of these things. Amen.
In Jesus’ name we pray. Amen.
May you go — demonstrating to others — that you are first and foremost for God. Amen.
God loves you. I love you. You are sent.
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